Mornings Suck

Sorry, not sorry about the language. I know some people love mornings and wake up ready to face the day. You people are what I call “magical morning marvels” (or weirdos-whatever). I wake up after all 4 of my alarms have gone off, I have hit snooze on each one at least twice and my husband has thrown a pillow(or something else) at me to get out of the bed.  Believe me, I have tried so hard to find a way to make waking up easier, sleeping medicine, going to bed earlier, sleeping with the TV off, prayer (lots of prayer), and finally I just accepted it. It is part of who I am. Here are 5 Reasons weekday mornings suck:

  • During the school year no one can find anything before 7:45am. Shoes are lost, homework is nowhere to be found, glasses are MIA and even the dogs go missing. (Yes I have been late trying to track down a rouge pug that decided to take himself for a morning walk.) There are days I threaten to send my kids to school with one shoe. I am sure I would get a call about a uniform infraction, but I am thinking it would be worth it.
  • It takes me 729 tries to leave my house. Somehow I forget every-singl- thing I need when I walk to the car. Then I have to come in to get each item individually. I can’t remember them all at once. No, I have to keep making repeat trips inside the house to make sure I wake everyone else up. “Keys are important”, must go back for those. “Wait, where did I put my phone?” “Man, I am going to need my Ipad today”, back in I go. “Did I put on makeup? Let me grab my makeup bag, maybe I can put it on when I get to the office.” Now my youngest has woken up and he wants breakfast.
  • Waking up a teenager (OEW) is like poking a grumpy, hormonal bear. Yeah some mornings she sets her alarm, but some morning genetics kick in and she snoozes that baby 4 times and it’s over. Her precious little Face scrunches up at me and makes noises I have not heard before. (I can’t say I blame her)
  • Waking up an 8 year old (SA) is like something out of a zombie movie. He refuses to get out of bed so we have to carry him to our bathroom to get him ready. (notice I said we, yeah my husband, BD, is usually in charge of this task). Once we sit him on the ground he usually refuses to open his eyes, which makes using the restroom and brushing his teeth super fun!
  • The tunnel traffic is rough in the morning y’all. I only have to drive across the bay in the mornings about twice a week. Don’t get me wrong, if I had left earlier (see above regarding missing shoes, pugs, and cell phones) then the drive would be very beautiful and enjoyable, but I didn’t, so it’s not. If it rains, you can forget about getting to or from Mobile. And why for the love of sweet little baby Jesus does everyone hit their brakes in the tunnel?

I want to clarify; weekend mornings are a completely different story. No alarms, no missing keys, no tunnel traffic, or brake lights, just coffee and snuggles. I love sitting on the back porch, sipping my coffee while watching the egrets catch their breakfast in the retention pond behind out house. Usually after about 30 minutes or so one of kiddos wakes up and joins me and it’s the start to a great day. This must be what the “magical morning marvels” experience on weekday mornings. I wish I could say I would change, but it is unlikely. I am not a morning person. Sorry, not sorry.

When Life Hands You Grapes, Hit Snooze.

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