9 Tips for Traveling Through the Tunnel and Across the Bay

There are a lot of wonderful things about living in the Mobile Bay area. The Wallace Tunnel and Bay Bridge are not two of them. Even if we accept the necessity of their construction in our world, the very thought of having to travel through the tunnel and across the Bayway can cause a visceral reaction in even the most hardened of Mobile drivers. To help, here are nine tips for traveling the tunnel and Bayway:

1.Don’t
a.Avoid it if possible. Take the Africatown Bridge and Causeway while laughing at the line of cars stuck on the other side. Go north and take the Dolly Parton Bridge, if possible. It might even be faster to go down to Dauphin Island and ride the ferry to the other side. You probably won’t waste that much extra time.
2.Make Friends
a.While waiting to get into the tunnel and then while trying to inch your way across the interstate, try to embrace your situation and make friends with those around you. You’re all stuck together so roll down your window and chat up the person next to you. I like to imagine this is what motorist are doing when they lean out their window to talk to me while I cut across lanes around slower cars. They’re always very passionate about making friends as well, screaming and shaking their fist.
3.Rent a Helicopter
a.Just fly over. It’s like a ferry for the air. Park your car on one side of the bay and ride over, taking an Uber to wherever you need to go, then do the whole thing in reverse when it’s time to go home. This is actually a genius idea. I’m should talk to the Mobile and Daphne government officials about this; it could be the carpool lane of the future. Who knows the civil engineers to build the helipad?
4.Take a Boat
a.You’re driving under and then over a bay. The whole time you’re creeping along in traffic, you’re surrounded by an excellent means of alternative travel! Why are you sitting on the road in a stuffy car? We live on the bay, use the channels to your advantage! Sure you have to drop in farther up the road and ride your way through streams and rivers, but still, it’s got to be more freeing then the hot asphalt.
5.Tunnel Underneath
a.Take a page out of the book of the Wallace Tunnel and just continue the progress. Need to use a spoon like a prison break? Would still be faster. We get enough tunnels going and there will never be congestion again.
6.Be Content
a.One way to assure you never ever have to worry about the headache that is the tunnel and Bayway is to just be content; forever remain on your side of the water, never to see the other shore. There are plenty of amenities on both sides. Do we really need the Eastern Shore and vice versa? I’m pretty proud of my side so I’ll just stay over here.
7.Bring a Book
a.You’re guaranteed to get at least five minutes of uninterrupted parking lot time. Bring a book and catch up on a few chapters while waiting to creep into the tunnel and for the expected gridlock that comes about a mile onto the Bayway.
8.Take a Nap
a.A book not your style? Use the time to take a nap. Motorist around you will be nice enough to wake you up with a few taps of the horn when it’s time to start moving again.
9.Anger Management
a.Since you probably won’t be able to avoid the frustration no matter how hard you try, use the time to get out your anger instead. When you try to wrap around to the tunnel from downtown Mobile through this new convoluted system that someone thought was a good idea or everyone slows to a crawl for no discernable reason, embrace that moment and release any pent up feelings of irritation. Blow your horn, call the person in front of you an idiot (with the windows up!), and just get everything out that’s been making you mad for the past few days. It’s a great moment of emotional dumping and the best foreseeable reason for suffering through the tunnel and Bayway.

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