New Year’s Resolutions That Are In Every Southerner’s List
The South is a unique place, so why should our New Year’s resolutions be any different? Sure, we’re pretty fortunate to call the South home, but even down here there’s always room for improvement. Whether you want to learn how to grow tomatoes or lose a few pounds by Easter, these are resolutions you’ll find on a Southerner’s List.
- I will learn how to cook like Memaw. We all know that Memaw is the best at well, everything, so why not learn from her?
- I will not leave the Christmas decorations up past January. Quit trying to convince people your Christmas wreath passes as a Mardi Gras one.
- I will learn how to drive on icy roads. Let’s be real…I will learn how to drive in the rain.
- I will try to drink unsweet tea. Hahahaha! Nope.
- Ok, maybe drink less alcohol? Unless your team didn’t make the SEC playoffs…or any playoffs for that matter. If you do plan drowning your sorrows, spend a casual night in NoJa’s courtyard.
- Spend more time with family – especially Memaw.
- Try (or at least think about) losing weight. Ok, who are we kidding? This isn’t going to happen, especially since we live in the South where the food is deep fried and delicious.
- I will shop less. Unless you DO lose weight, then you can break this one. Or, if by March you haven’t lost an inch, shop anyway because new shoes have been proven to cure sadness.
- Learn to garden. Every respectable Southerner is good at growing something. Tomatoes, okra, flowers, the list could go on…
- I will learn how to fry chicken. Can’t keep passing off Danny’s Southern Chicken as my own much longer.
- I will not use “bless his/her heart” as a way to politely insult someone. Unless they are really that ignorant.
- I will find a good hair product to combat the humidity. No matter how you style it…poofy hair is not a good look.
- I will work more with the community. Trash pickup, help the homeless, educate a Northerner in all things southern with a movie marathon of Steel Magnolias and Gone with the Wind.
- I will purchase new glassware that isn’t shaped like a Mason jar…despite its versatility. It’s a vase! It’s a drinking glass! It’s a vase…again!
- I will cut back on the monogramming everything…even though it’s every Southerner’s precious idea of being elusive.
- I will call my momma more. She gave birth to you…she deserves a phone call other than on Mother’s Day.
- I will learn how to tolerate the weather when it drops below 60 degrees. May require swapping flip-flops for actual shoes. **Shudders**
Just like a batch of Memaw’s biscuits, start your new year off fresh and hot out of the oven. And if you do screw up on any one of these…there’s always next year, right?
When Life Hands You Grapes by Michelle Murrill 