10 Things That Only Southerners Understand
The South is a unique place and not because we have warm winters and we prefer our vegetables fried. We pretty much have our own language and a somewhat odd way of doing things (Would you like some peanuts in your bottled Coke?). While our peculiar phrases and traditions may leave the rest of the country confused, only we understand why it’s perfectly normal.
Sweet Tea is King
Nothing is unholier than unsweet tea and chances are you’ll be damned into eternity if you drink it on a Sunday. Down here, we make it rain with delicious sugar in our glass pitchers.
Humidity Always Wins
Nice blowout you got there…it’d be bad if something were to…ruin it. Yes, you can spend a good chunk of money on the best celebrity-endorsed hair product but humidity will always triumph.
Nothing Compares to Maw Maw’s Cooking
Maw Maw could teach many of these highfalutin, Michelin star eateries a thing or two. They probably don’t know about the magic of biscuits and gravy and that bananas are better covered in pudding and whipped cream.
The Less We Say the More We Mean
Phrases such as “bless your heart” actually mean, “boy, you are dumber than a bag of hammers. I sure you hope you don’t plan on procreating.” “Fixin’ to” doesn’t mean we’re actually going to fix something. It’s more of a phrase about what we’re planning to do in the next hour, week, month, 10 years…you get the picture.
Want to know how a wooden spoon feels to the back of the head? Just try not saying “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am” the next time you’re at Maw Maw’s house.
It Will Always be Hot
Southerners know it’s perfectly normal to wear flip flops in December. Sweatin’ while hanging your stockings? Then call Daycool Heating and Air for the best in air conditioning maintenance and repair.
Southerners didn’t just invent porch sitting as a way of cooling off from the sweltering summers. No, we use it as a way to socialize, drink sweet tea and gossip…in a polite way, of course. Does your porch need sprucing up? Call the pros at Professional Electric for an estimate on services such as outdoor lighting.
There Will Always be Mosquitos
Mosquitos are like that creepy second cousin we all have…except we can’t kill him. But in the South, we smack so many mosquitoes it almost sounds like an applause.
Fall Weekends are for Football
Good luck with planning that fall wedding. While Paw Paw and Maw Maw really love you the most, your autumn nuptials doesn’t stand a chance. Free food and drunk groomsmen speeches don’t hold a candle to a Southerner’s favorite football team.
Fried Food is a Food Group
Did you know that Southerners are magicians? We can take a perfectly healthy vegetable and instantly make it unhealthy…and probably more delicious. I mean, there is a reason why okra is MUCH better fried.
Sure, none of this makes any sense anywhere else but would you really want to live there? Nope, I didn’t think so.